a soul to be honoured.

today, i lost a friend.
a batchmate back then in boarding school.

Nurul Huda Khairul Anwar.
eventhough we were not that close back then,
tapi sedikit sebanyak terasa jugak laa..
i managed to visit her while she was in hospital, HUKM.
thought of visiting for the second time, tapi tak sempat.

she's a beautiful girl.
i remembered that she tried to help me during school.
it was just me, setting my mind that she's super pandai, that i can't be with her. can't walk together with her.
now, left her soul.
a soul to be honoured.
semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat,
dah ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang soleh dan solehah.

Al-Faatihah.

hari ini..

sangat mahu jadi cantik.
haha.
i know. sounds like a kid. tapi nak.
my friends are very beautiful. really.
kalau ada scale, confirm i'll be at last place. jatuh tergolek.

erm.

rasa macam nak beli dslr la :)
canon 400D cam best je.
ahahahha.
walaupun tak pandai amik gamba, tapi rasa macam nak jugak.
hmm..patutkah?

and life's so plain.
why isn't there any colours?
d*mn!
boh-ring.

amethyst

i bought a pair of amethyst earring for myself!
:) happy!!!
ini adalah hadiah paling mahal untuk diri sendiri setakat ini.
hahahah.i declare. yang lain-lain bukan hadiah :)

and soon, i'll become a stone enthusiast! :) heee~
i simply love it!

my collection so far :
1. garnet earring
2. amethyst earring

hahaha~baru dua sahaja!
more to come!!! :)

dream of a topaz ring. sangat cantik!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) kat caratique. ada this one design. omg.cantikkk!!!!!

cravings..

for the month:
1. bride wars - cinema
2. bedtime stories - cinema/dvd
3. red cliff II - cinema
4. changeling - cinema
5. four christmases - dvd
6. the curious case of benjamin button - cinema

*not in sequence.

ohh.cukup.

post-post yang mengecewakan terlalu banyak.
i hope,
i really hope you've learnt a lesson.
aahhhah.
sebenarnya, i have to tell myself.
you never read my blog.
why is it so difficult for us to get closer?
what i know,
for my entire life,
we've been apart.
and it goes further since there's someone else.
aku tau. kau jumpa aku bila nak mintak apa-apa.
time tu, macam angel.
aku tau.
lepas tu, kau akan keluar tanduk.

tapi, i want us to get closer.
as close as other people.
why not?
because you always sets a barrier.
and you'll never let me get closer to you.
because you'll never listen to me.

aku sedih doww.
aku sedih gila.

maybe.

maybe.
i need love.
ahah.
perasaan mahu merasakan cinta semula.
mungkin.
but i need someone who can understands me.
pathetic.
even no scandals.
for the past 1 1/2 years. or more.
pathetic isn't it?
some people could say it's normal.
but i'm afraid if i could go further.
upside down.
ahh.
i need it.
as soon as possible.
to make sure i'll be straight.
for the rest of my life.

this is meant for you.

yes, you.
for you.

sebenarnya, dalam hidup, kita perlukan penghormatan.
tidak akan pernah kita suka pada pandangan rendah orang lain.
ego itu wujud.
tidak akan kita suka pada waktu dipandang rendah oleh orang yang berada di bawah.
tetapi, ego perlu bijak dikawal.
kau hanya perlu belajar menghormati jika sukar untuk kau menghargai.
hanya hormat memberikan kau harga diri.
hanya dengan menghormati, kau akan dihormati.
hanya dengan menghormati, akan wujud pertimbangan yang lahir dari hati.
belajarlah menghormati orang lain.
sekurang-kurangnya pada orang yang menyayangi kau.
sebab, kau memang tidak tahu sama sekali bila akan hilang rasa sayang oleh orang yang belum jemu memberikan kasih pada kau.
kau tidak tahu.
mungkin hari ini belum.
esok lusa, kau juga tidak tahu.
belajarlah menghormati.
belajarlah.
aku merayu.
kerana aku memang kecewa.
bukan kecewa dengan perkara-perkara yang berlaku,
kerana semuanya tidak pernah akan dapat dielak.
tetapi, aku kecewa dengan sikap kau.
tiada pertimbangan.
tiada pernghormatan.
aku merayu.belajarlah.
sebelum semua terlewat.

hmm....

i've no idea why am i so moody lately.
mungkin perubahan hormon. tapi, taktau la apa yang berubah.
ahah. atau mungkin juga, tiada yang mahu mendengar. atau tiada yang punya masa mendengar.

i need appreciation. i had enough giving.
but then, they never thought of how i feel.
i'm a bit distracted.
i'm a bit sad.
nothing could possibly make it better, unless you try to appreciate.

so, please don't put hope on me.
because i might put you down.
because i've had enough giving.

*chup. how do i post videos on blog? hmm.. been trying to do it, tapi tak berjaya.ahhh.

cukup buat masa ini.

i had enough giving.
and now, i realised, people won't appreciate.
so, i've decided to stop giving.

so, lepas ni, i apologize for being cruel. because i definately going to be that cruel. tidak akan ada lagi belas kasihan. tidak akan ada lagi toleransi.

and..
i've learnt how bad it is, feeling sakit hati. and how bad it is for people who never admit their mistakes. and i apologize for that. i've done a lot of that. i know. tapi lepas ni, i promise will not do it again. dan orang selalu berkata bahawa menipu itu perlu untuk selamatkan diri sendiri. and i've done it quite a lot when people says i have to. kesimpulannya, tidak selamat langsung! tapi sekarang, i had enough. and it's true, akan terperangkap dalam diri sendiri. padan muka. ahahh.

so, saya minta maaf di atas kesalahan saya...