farewell 2009

its time to say goodbye
to cherish all the moments
to forget the past
to live with the lessons learned
to become mature in every single things

i hope 2009 gave a real good lessons to everyone
made everyone more mature in every manner
had made everyone even stronger and wiser

its time to put the past behind
and to live the present
and always dream the future

i hope it'll be better years ahead to everyone;
in every single aspect of life.

2009, i'll cherish you.

welcome 2010.
i hope it'll be a much more better years ahead
for me to cherish.
:)

menuggumu..

Didalam sebuah cinta terdapat bahasa
Yang mengalun indah mengisi jiwa
merindukan kisah kita berdua
Yang tak pernah bisa akan terlupa

Bila Rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah tanya untukmu
Harus brapa lama
aku menunggumu
aku menunggumu...

Didalam masa indah saat bersamamu
Yang tak pernah bisa akan terlupa
Kenangan masa yang menghancurkan jiwa
Dengan segenap cinta

aku bertanya

Bila Rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah tanya untukmu
Harus brapa lama aku menunggumu

Dalam hati kumenunggu..
Dalam hati kumenunggu..aku...
Dalam lelah kumenunggu..
Dalam hati kumenunggu..aku...
masih menunggu....

Bila Rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah harus berapa lama
Harus brapa lama

aku menunggumu
aku menunggumu

sebenarnya..

people's life principle is always different.
and i can see it changes from time to time..
it doesn't mean if you really wanted to be friend with someone last 5 years, they'll be the same person another 5 years.

the truth is.. they change.
they change a lot.
and so many things are taken into account.
and for the fact we can't read people's mind..
so, just be yourself.
keep everything to yourself.
love yourself.
spend times for yourself.

don't think about others.
because so far i've learn, people dissapoint me.
a lot of dissapoinment in life.

ouch!

its painful when people starts to ignore you.
as if you are no longer on earth.
why does people on earth becomes cruel?
kenapa wujud manusia yang berkata-kata tajam?
kenapa tak betulkan kesalahan instead of ignoring?
i dont know what to think.
and i dont know how to judge.
how to read your mind.

well, thanks for the ignorance.
that left me pain for long.

why?

why why why?
i always ask this question.
why do i always need to satisfy people in life?
always.
hm?
i never get what i want.
and i always had to listen to people.
and satisfy them
but not me.
why?!

hmh

i don't know what i want in life.
i've been hurting people.
and i have too much to take at a time.
i am hurt.
thats enough say.

unstable.

i'm in unstable state of mind.
might say out or do things without thinking.
(as if i've been thinking so much before this)

manusia sekalian alam,
sila ambil pengajaran.

*words of wisdom*

• "tiada ubat untuk hati yang sakit. walaupun jutawan sekalipun, tidak akan ada yang dapat mengubati"

• "budi takkan dapat dibalas dengan wang ringgit"

• "jangan sakitkan hati orang lain. you're not god to decide"

• "semua benda yang berlaku adalah kuasa tuhan"

• "kita takkan dapat melawan takdir"

• "semua yang buruk datang dari kita, yang baik adalah semuanya daripada-Nya"

• "jangan mudah percaya pada orang yang kita percaya"

semua ni betul kan? mungkin kalau belum pernah lalui, kita takkan perasan betapa bergunanya benda ni semua...tapi once we have tasted it, then we know how truth it is...
so, belajar untuk tidak membalas dendam.. cuma percaya.. setiap perkara memang wujud karma.

and this stage:
belajar menghadapi. belajar tentang kehidupan. belajar bahawa tiada manusia yang baik. belajar setiap perkara yang berlaku, akan ada cosequences. belajar bahawa kenyataan hidup bukan macam cerita dongeng "live happily ever after"(itu semua bullsh*t).

sila ambil iktibar dan pengajaran.
dan bagaimana kita tabah menghadapi semua ni. kita sahaja yang tau.
(i admit i am not strong. how i gave up in so many things in life. and i am giving up on this)

memang.

kau selalu macam ni.
kau bagi semangat. lepastu kau tarik balik semangat yang ada.
tarik balik dengan kata-kata sinis dan nista.
as far as i know, i am not strong.
and i am a kind who will straight away putus harapan.
that is me.

so, kalau kau cakap aku tak berguna.. benda tu akan lekat dalam kepala otak aku.
memang. so, what?!
kenapa tak cakap awal-awal supaya i'll go away?
supaya kau senang... takde aku yang tak berguna dalam hidup kau.

kau timang aku tinggi-tinggi.
tapi kau tak sambut.
kau biarkan aku jatuh gedebuk atas lantai konkrit,
sampai kepala aku pecah berdarah.
that is me now.
kepala aku dah pecah berdarah. tak berguna. malah, lebih menyusahkan.
kan? memang aku dah tau dah.

thanks thanks

hey, backstabber.
thanks!
see you when i'm up there.
i'll make your life miserable like no body's business.
i sure will.
see you!

am i?

am i?
am i building castle in the air?

someone asked me;
"i wonder, how come you have no boyfriend? are you sure you are single? are you sure you've been single all these while?"

what should i answer?
i have no answer for that.

new moon was great!
i want to be Bella! and i want Edward.
please....
i know i will sacrifice like how Bella did.

stressed!

been stressfull lately.
thought of giving up.
but nothing in this world is stress-free.
kan?