i wish to put on smile :)

i had a chat with a junior earlier today. he's in inti nilai. doing foundation in engineering, jpa sponsored. just to share some thoughts here. it's about a life. a human. nothing to do with that junior actually. it's someone else's. i remembered back is school. especially being in a boarding school and it's sekolah berasrama penuh, SBP and it's one of the new schools, and it's one of the top school at that particular time, back in my school days.. and i'm sure it's still right now... the time was hard. well, i had a hard time. everyone is aiming high. i was from a girls school back in lower secondary, and the school is awesome. the school itself is a really good school. but i never had this problem, yet i still scored in my exams.

yeah yeah. back to the boarding school topic. teachers were really aiming high. everyone were expected to be a scorer. and obviously it's a lil bit stress for people like me. i was struggling to fit my self into the new environment. and yet, peoples around (the teachers especially) were pushing hard. everyone were aiming straight As. yeah. of course everyone is aiming the best! but the way they push it.

and now i realize, that thing is actually important. but straight As and flying colours actually doesn't mean anything to me. yeah. to me. not everyone. i didn't get that straight As and i really did not get the flying colours result. i wasn't a teacher's pet or any of them's fav. but i still made it. i know. i didn't even step into a university for my degree what not. okay. yeah. i've been to a matriculation centre but didn't manage to complete the course. but i'm happy that i have a good job instead. i'm not depending on anyone now to get what ever i want. isn't that a good one? isn't that what people wants in life? i'm thankful to Allah swt though for giving me such pleasure.

i got this sad news from a friend of mine. yeah. and this really happened to few of my friends. they were terminated from their college. and they were the top scorer back in school. how could that happened? how could the teachers explain? if i were to ask the teachers who pushed us so much, how are they going to explain it to me especially? my results back in school were dramatic. i failed each and every papers during the tests and exams. i'll be thankful if i were to pass. and it's just passing, not having As. It made me cried every single day especially when the results were out. but i'm now consider a successful non-scorer i should say. i question this all the time since i got the news. what on earth has the teachers told us? get straight As and you'll be "cemerlang, gemilang, terbilang". but what happened now?

it's not that i want to question the teacher's motivational talk. but, the As actually doesn't mean much now. what can the straight As do for the scorers now then? they just mean nothing. sorry teachers. i just feel that back during my time, you guys shouldn't push us so hard. especially me. you guys actually gave me a hard time. you guys actually made myself felt down. down deeper under the deep sea!!!

however, i'm thankful. today, i'm a doing what i choose to do. i'm being who i want to be. and i'm thanking all of my teachers of whatever you guys have thought me. tapi.. fikirlah balik what have you told us. the results actually doesn't mean anything to the world. i told people.. what ever your results are, at the end of the day, you are who you choose to be. the world would never ask your schooltime results, your college cgpa.. and teachers.. please don't push it too hard. it's sickening though.

well, for young readers, the good results will make you later decide who will you be. i've no doubt about that. just.. choose wisely. life's not easy. and it's not as simple as what you think :)

*cheers*

and those are some photos back in school. those were taken on the last day of school, Majlis Sireh Pulang Ke Gagang :)