2010, i'll cherish you!

as we have seen.
2010 went real crazy for me.
no room for mistakes.
no room for forgiveness.
thats how some people take it.

as for me,
it was a year
where i learnt a lot.
those includes everything.
most of it; dealing with life.

i've learnt what a friendship meant.
what we treasure in friendship doesn't mean we will get the same in return.

i've learnt how to deal with people around.

motivational books really helps.

i need to read more.

i have become more mature.

in a sense, which probably only me knows, what defines maturity.

thats not by theory, but thats more on how we deal with it in our lives.

sure things;

never takes things for granted.

there is no second chance in life,

and never take chances.

learn to love yourself more than you love others.

it's difficult to get friends who will cry together with you,

but they'll be there when theres things to laugh about.

its time to start a new chapter of life.

we shall now forget the past, to live for the present and dream the future.

for the past wont be coming back,

but it has taught us.

lets learn to forgive and forget.

for once, and that will keep you peace of mind.

goodbye 2010.

bila pilih kawan, sama macam pilih cinta.

mak kata;

jangan pilih orang yang kita cinta.

tapi pilih orang yang sayangkan kita.

sama.

kalau pilih kawan,

jangan cari orang yang kita nak kawan dengan dia.

sebaliknya, pilih orang yang nak kawan dengan kita,

dan menerima kita sedia ada.

sebab nanti, mereka akan tinggalkan kita,

untuk orang yang mereka pilih untuk berkawan,

bukan untuk orang yang pilih untuk berkawan dengan mereka.

jangan tertipu.

kenapa?

Kenapa ada orang, bila bercakap;
Suka bercakap tentang kekurangan orang?
Suka bercakap menyatakan kesalahan orang?
Suka bercakap tentang kehebatan diri?
Suka bercakap tentang kebaikan perilaku sendiri?
Suka bercakap mengagungkan diri sendiri?

Apa maknanya kalau hanya bercakap tentang keburukan dan kekurangan orang?
Adakah diri sendiri adalah yang terbaik?

Atau sebenarnya,
Memotivasi diri sendiri?
Apa sebenarnya?

quote selamat pagi

the best way to escape from the past is not to avoid it or forget it but accept and forgive it :)-KA

you know what, i think you have better life tho without me. bright future. don't wait for me. its illegal. you can't wait for someone who can't love you back. :'( don't try make me feel guilty.-KN

I'm Your Angel - Céline Dion Duet with R. Kelly

Celine Dion - I'm Your Angel (Duet with R. Kelly) (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Denis, Celine Dion

why why why

why do we fall in love?

why is it hard to move on once we fall for someone?

why do we keep on hurting our heart when they leave us?

why can't we stop stalking them after the breakup?

why is there a self heartbroken session

when we know they wont reply to our texts

when we know they wont bother about our status on facebook/twitter

when we know they wont bother to ask how are we

but we keep on hoping they will care towards us, someday.

why why why?

will everyone experience the same thing?

how soon will we move on?

hm?

orang tua kata

kalau cintakan orang,

jangan bagi 100%.

tapi kalau bercinta yang suka cinta sayang,

mesti nak bagi 500% kan?

sekali kau sakit,

terus tergolek tak mampu bangun lagi.

untuk seketika.

jangan cepat melatah.

cinta memang menyeksa.

sebabtu hanya ada satu cinta Agung.

Cinta Dia.

i want

again.

kan best kalau terjumpa cinta kat subway.

tapi malangnya...

i don't go to work by subway.

ciss!

dedication

from today onwards,

i dedicate myself to..

happiness in life :)

$$$

ahahaa.

yes. thats it!

if i dont get good photos by end of march 2011,

i'll sell off the camera. and get a basic one. :(

wishlist..

1. EF-S55-250mm f/4-5.6IS

2. EF50mm f/1.8 II

3. crumpler 5million dollar home

please please please grant my wishlist.janji. lepasni no more lens or camera bag...

Gio - Bila Cinta (Hilangnya Cintamu)[Lagenda Budak Setan OST]

Bila cinta kini
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu

Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Yang ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Hingga engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hinggaku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan

kusebut namamu
disetiap doaku
bangkitkan setiap
kenangan tentangmu
yangku dapat
hanyalah bayangmu

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hinggaku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Uuu…

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
.....
Dalam harapan ...uuuu

Lagenda Budak Setan - Bila Cinta (Female Version)

Katharine McPhee - Terrified ft. Zachary Levi

Terrified(Ft. Jason Reeves) lyrics

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right

Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I-I-I'm in love (I'm in love)
And I-I-I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

This could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse than knowing you're holding back

I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I-I-I'm in love (I'm in love)
And I-I-I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

Bridge:
I only said it
'Cause I mean it (ohhhh)
I only mean it
'Cause it's true (ohhhhh)

So don't you doubt
What i've been dreaming
'Cause it keeps me up
It holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

Chorus:
You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star o
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I-I-I'm in love (I'm in love)
And I-I-I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

again..

about people...

someone told me:

X : so, now i know hows your taste like..those kind of guys..

me : umm yea.. thats the kind..

X : tapi semua macam jambu je..rasa tak?

me : jambu ke? biasa je.. baru rasa macam hero.. kan?

X : haa hero memang hero. tapi get ready la nak berebut dengan maknyah!

me : &^*%&&%^?!

apekahh?!

for the fact : betul jugak..most of the time, if i go out with the guys with that kind of look, memang confirm kena kacau dengan maknyah.

kesimpulan : carik je yang lain :) and i can't get those with my type?! huu~

great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss other people.

and it came to my thought...

am i the small mind??

uhuuu~

i don't want to be!

so, lets talk about things that are more important here.

ahhaa..

and i know i've thought about it before, but my mind keeps on thinking about the same thing;

peoples around me. huh~

let's try not to talk about people anymore.. lets see how far it goes, how long will it last :)

wonder

if you be friend with your ex's exes,

are you actually still thinking about your ex?

i mean in the case ;

you were not friends and you became friends after you broke up. and they broke up with the guy too.

what does that act actually mean?

you're not over them?

you haven't moved on?

umm?

its just..

It reminds me of the days,
Those were the days..
30 hari mencari cinta
And got extended to
100 mencari cinta..
And for me,
After more than 1000 days,
I'm still here,
All alone without it..

Is it a bad or a good sign?
Am I actually comfortable being single? No.

heart-less

ever heard of what goes around comes around?

hambik kau termakan kata-kata sendiri!

it's okay if you are ignoring me.

to have at least good friends who will listen.

as if.

because you're not one.

kesian siapa dapat kau.

for i will never regret of losing you.

uhumm.

have you ever watch Sinetron Cinta Kirana?

thats an issue of a relationship. but the series hasn't complete yet. still few more episodes running before we could see the ending..

whats up with falling in love with a handsome, gentleman guy?

they're naturally borned adorable. everyone likes them, and they can't choose properly. thats what i see. just few on earth who could live and choose properly. for instance, brad pitt. he doesn't know how to choose and at the end, he chooses the one who flirts with him most! see thats why he left jenn ann. ahha. (im not an angie's fan though)

the issue with those guys are actually..

the have sooo many choices.

lets see if i fall for a handsome guy, what will it be?

:)

ahhaha

hambik kau karma!

padan muka!

guling-guling la kau kat situ.

particular you part 2

kau tak hero langsung.

(mode lepas geram)

you're trying to do best what im doing.

like the gym. yes, the gym. i don't go to the gym just to stalk someone who goes to the gym.

don't ever make any conclusion like i don't do this and that because of me. well, i've done my part, but too bad, i just hated the way you are.

it's not right when you talk bad about my own sister in front of me. because that's you not who i wanted to live with for the rest of my life. I LOVE MY SISTER.

it's selfish of you to tell me i know nothing. do you expect me to spend the entire life with a person who will always look down at me?

terimalah kenyataan.

i don't like you. you don't have to discuss that with anyone.

and i did not leave you for my pilot friends. so what if i do that? i'm not your special girlfriend YET! and thank goodness. can't you just accept it when i told you i'm not ready? and what? you tells every single friends of yours that we've been apart? you are disgusting! can't you just keep your mouth shut?

kesimpulan : kau tak hero langsung! langsung tak!

you, yes you. particular you!

please please please.

i hate to see you on facebook.

i hate it when you text me.

i hate it you when you took over control on myself.

i hate it when you want me to get things that i don't like for myself.

i hate it when you tell it to my friends.

because i never like you.

you are just a friend. JUST A FRIEND.

would you please stop bothering me?

would you please stop bothering others?

would you?

would you?!?!

stop asking around why did i ignored you.

because, i really hate you now.

selalunya

lelaki yang handsome memang gentleman.

kan?

sebabtu diorang dianggap playboy.

i think i know

selama ni kita selalu dengar

parents tak kasi anak-anak kahwin dengan orang luar.

macam, kalau doctor kena kahwin dengan doctor.

kalau laywer kena kahwin dengan lawyer.

ianya lebih kerap berlaku pada perempuan.

istilah kena pilih calon yang sama or better. better tu terlalu general.

tapi kenapa

takde yang cakap

kalau kerani kena kahwin dengan kerani?

hmmm...

after soo long i've thought about it,

i have got some conclusions;

1. supaya pasangan tu faham tentang kehidupan. its more or less the same.

2. supaya akan dapat berbincang ikut pemikiran yang sama. frequensi & gelombang yang sama.

3. kalau ada clan, clan yang sama. so, kurang la jealousy dan sebagainya..

4. sebab paling utama.. pilih yang sekufuk.

kesimpulan:

sebenarnya, parents cuma nak kita pilih pasangan yang sekufuk. terutamanya perempuan. zaman sekarang perempuan belajar tinggi-tinggi. so, mesti nanti akan pilih jenis orang yang jaauhhh kurang daripada mereka.

macam contoh:(contoh je)

1. doktor perempuan, nanti akan nak pilih orang-orang macam dispatcher yang hantar surat kat hospital tu ke apa. sebab diorang ada lebih banyak masa untuk spend dengan pasangan. kalau pilih doktor jugak, alamatnyaaa sorang kat rumah sorang kat hospital. bilanya nak spend time?

2. lawyer perempuan, nanti pilih pasangan office boy kat layer office tu.

tapi..orang tak boleh terima. nanti kata keluarga tu mementingkan darjat. tapi memang betul. bukan apa..memang agama suruh pilih orang yang sekufuk. takkan la nak pilih lelaki office boy kalau perempuan tu menteri kan? takkan nak pilih GRO kalau lelaki tu usahawan berjaya kan? make sense kenapa agama bagi syarat macam tu.

*note : lelaki sepatutnya memang kena better dari perempuan. sebab lelaki tu adalah pemimpin. yang akan memimpin keluarga. so, nanti jatuh la martabat dan maruah kalau perempuan tu tak respect kan...

sekadar renungan.

bila

letak gambar yang takde issue kau sibuk-sibuk.

letak status yang 1 dunia tengah kecoh, kau tak pedulik.

isn't that really shows you don't care?

just admit.

i'm no longer part of you.

i shall say goodbye!

GOODBYE!

FOR REAL!!

as i thought

it wasn't as easy.

and i am not ready.

its time to have fling, scandals.

forget the past,

time to move on.

walk out with integrity and honour intact and you don't have to answer to no one. -nasha

raya mode

1. baju raya

2. rambut raya

3. kasut raya

4. bag raya

5. kuih raya

for some reason

i always love to view photos of beautiful ladies.

i don't know what kind of obsessed it is.

but thats real.

i love to see beautiful ladies. with their happy couples.

beautiful weddings.

beautiful bunch of friends.

beautiful days of peoples, which they love to post it on facebook.

beautiful everything.

i wish to have captured that.

all time.

i'm keeping that dream high.

criteria

the criteria of the husband to be;

physically

1.the benchmark is me. me. me. me.

2. lean abs with six packs.

3. lean arms with toned muscles.

4. able to carry me. (well, in case if i passed out or something)

5. mohawk hair or whatever in style. preferably spiky.

6. a model-look type of face.

7. wears everything in style. brands doesn't matter.

8. handsome-typed of perfumes scents.

9. a sportsman, outdoor kind of person.

general

1. owns a good kind of cars.

2. a perfect prince.

3. understanding.

4. earning more than me.

5. flexible.

6. and the list goes on and on and on.

thats the guidelines.

but its up to me to ignore few things.

the plans

thinking if i should be doing what instead of what..

1. melbourne trip (before a friend graduate)

2. baking classes

3. advance sewing classes

which is which.

what is what.

and i am not sure which one first.

hmm..

dream.

i always dream

to travel around the world

all paid for

i don't know for what reason,

but thats my dream.

that was a dream,

a childhood dream,

which one remains in my mind,

never had forget,

never had faded.

thats a dream of mine

and which, i am revealing

since, i've told this only to my bestfriends.

they know what was my dream,

and i am really sure,

a dream of mine

since long-long time ago,

is something i'll never forget

and will always work it hard to make it comes true.

giving out too much isn't good.

they will get jealous.

and they will make you down.

as always.

care of your own things.

trust only yourself, not others.

i have to

i have to stop procrastinating.

i have to start thinking positive.

just let people be.

just let people say what they want.

i need to achieve what i want.

my dreams.

from today onwards, i'll try my best to post the positive thoughts only. :)

let's begin a new life.

say hello to future :)

uhm

sometimes

i give up living in my very own country.

i don't know about others.

tapi, i think, it'll just be the same if i'm expact in somewhere else.

kalau pergi kedai melayu,

i'll be treated as if i don't deserve any good treatment.

literally because they thought i'm a chinese.

kalau pergi kedai cina,

i'll be treated macam kucing kurap,

because i can't speak their language.

and they know i'm not chinese.

so, basically,

malaysians are racist.

they treat people by skin color.

and i hate that.

as if i don't deserve to be treated well in my own country.

might as well i leave, and serve nations who will appreciate me. at least.

and malaysians has this kind of mentality;

hormati orang tua.

so, when someone like me (youngsters) comes into the scene,

they won't treat me good as long as there's someone else elder than me.

so people,

jangan salahkan golongan muda tak reti adab sopan.

sebab you didn't treat them with adab sopan when they were young.

therefore, they learn by that "good" example of yours.

isn't it obvious?

isn't it?

it's a sign when you just stay there,

need not compete.

because you know you'll win.

for whatever reason.

when comparing relatively;

a person who gets a car with their own hard work,

getting a posh laptops with their own efforts,

a person who gets a fabulous handphone with their own hard earn money,

getting an advanced-tech camera with their very own pay,

and they can do it on their own;

without any concern of anyone else.

yet,

still been compared and looked down by some people,

and been told,

the person who actually well equipped with hi-tech,

but with concern of others,

and the person is the winning team.

isn't it unfair?

whatever it is,

i know where i stand.

kaca mana mungkin jadi berlian.

just say what you like.

i'll work hard to stay where i am.

hey you dumb blonde!

leave the curvy skirt and wear your two-pieced-swim-wear.

living in sorrow.
that's how it is going.

just that..

just need to be respected as a human being.
just that.

define:

define secessfull.

what is succesfull in your eyes?
hm.

my seccessfull:
being happy. living life to the fullest.
which i havent achieve that, yet. :)

never never

a huge step taken.
a huge impact to be seen.
lets monitor closely.
we see if it's for good or for bad.

like i've always mentioned.
if they never wants, never force them.
because you will end up hurting yourself even more.

learn what is responsibility,
before you talk about responsibility.
i've learn about it. and it's not easy you b****!

Smile

You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like a sun, Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh you make me smille
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh you make me smille

strictly

all for myself!

spending time for myself.
i need to learn to say no. because its always been huting me.

doing things for myself.
because i'm always doing favor. and that made me regret!

to be myself.
never anymore trying to be perfect.
indirectly trying to be perfect.
which i never thought. never ever in my mind.

always
think of the consequences.
always.

appreciation

hey
i appreciate you as a human.
do you appreciate me like who i am?
no you don't.
because you don't know how to appreciate things.
including me.

rule no 3

forgive and forget.
its not easy as said.
but to move on,
we need that.

thats what i learnt so far.

i dont know

i don't know if its mine.
i don't know if we are meant to be.

just let the time decides.
if it ever comes back,
its yours,
but if it never,
it never will.

just move on.

and, hakuna matata!

yang terindah

semenjak kau hadir dalam hidupku
tiada lagi keresahan
kau menutup pintu hatiku
tanpa sedar hingga kuizinkan

kau yang bernama cinta
kau yang memberi rasa
kau yang ilhamkan bahagia
hingga aku terasa indah

maaf jika ku tidak sempurna

hingga bahagia mula menjelma

bila keyakinanan datang merasa

kasih disambut dengan kejujuran

mencintai dirimu

merindui dirimu

memliki dirimu

hingga akhir hayat bersama kamu

kau yang bernama cinta

kau yang member rasa

kau yang ilhamkan bahagia

hingga aku rasa indah

kau yang bernama cinta

hingga aku rasa indah

dramaqueen

um.
normally we can judge people by how they act.
even if you are a dramaqueen.
and sometimes,
taking things deep inside isn't that good afterall.
it jeopardizes lives.
well, if its not you, but a bit of someone else.

so, think before you act.
choose the people you hang around thoroughly.
people might say you are picky.
but, that's reality.

some scenes made you thought of putting yourself in a cave, all alone.
or just swim under the sea, all alone..
when you found out,
when you need someone, they will just go away and leave you alone.
that's reality. it happens everywhere.

the event

made me stressed out.
i don't know if its a sign of hating or menyampah or what.
but i really hate it.
and i don't know if i'm hating the situation or the person.

case 1:
me : XX 1, jom tengok wayang. let's watch comedy romantic jom?
XX 1 : alaa.. taknak laa.. i nak tengok dengan my boyfriend.. lagipun i have no time, need to spend my times with him.

*ok fine. this is sh*t.

case 2:
me : XX 2, jom tengok movie kat gardens. i heard it's special. and ada special treatment. tak pernah pegi sana..
XX 2 : taknakla..i pegi sana with my bf je. lagipun i dah pegi dah.

*hmh. bf is much much more important than a friend. wei. kalau kau breakup, jangan cari aku!

case 3:
me : XX 3, jom dinner sama malam ni. lama tak dinner with you. dah lama tak makan best with you.
XX 3 : oh, tak boleh la. malam i nak dinner with my bf. lagipun i dah jarang klua malam kalau bukan dengan my bf. and i pun kena balik awal.

*okay fine. no one would bother to spend their time with me.

case 4 :
me : XX 4, jom lepak harini.we have breakfast then we go shopping jom?
XX 4 : umm.. harini tak boleh. i breakfast with my bf. nanti pun nak lunch dengan dia. then dia ada meeting. time dia meeting boleh la kejap, tapi after meeting i nak jumpa dia lagi.

*wtf!

so, kesimpulannya;
AM I A LOSER WHO DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR TIME?!?!?!

how much

how much i wanted to go to UK to visit my cousin, Hazim
to Scotland to visit my friend, Mysara
to Melbourne to visit Anis,
please Lord, let me be there.
i need time for myself. i really do.

sorry wei, if this hurt

tapikan,
i came to realized
people who keeps on changing their mind
cakap putar belit
kejap A, kejap B,
are those people
who stays in rumah koro,
berkawan dengan kawan-kawan yang
tiada mentaliti maju.
because those people
just don't have the sense of independent-ness
they don't know what does resposibilities meant
they don't hold on their words,
they are the people who doesn't have the facts,
and they just live life as it is,
without thinking
and without knowing
the rule of life, the law of the world.
those are the people.

so, i thought,
tak salah, bila ada orang kaya yang berlagak
mungkin gaya berlagak, tapi we never know,
sebab, probably, dah pernah kena,
with those with low mentality peoples.
and it's not easy.

well, i am not saying i am high-class ke apa.
i know where i stand,
but, people, come on,
educate yourself.
jangan jadi macam yang koro tu.
because people wouldn't want to deal with you,
you will never able to control your anger,
your emotion.
and people who can't control emotion and anger
are the losers.
believe me.
orang yang marah dan mengekspreskan kemarahan pada orang tersebut
telah menjatuhkan maruah sendiri.
maruah beb!
so, jangan terpekik terlolong, terjerit terpekik,
sememangnya, maruah anda terletak pada tapak kaki sendiri dan dipijak-pijak.
dan,
kalau nak mendoakan orang,
doakanlah yang baik-baik.
bukan dengan lafaz "halal haram"
sebab itu lagi lah membuktikan
bahawa anda mempermainkan agama sendiri.

so, sorry if this hurt.
tapi i am sure,
the person wont read this post.
but others, think of it.

and do comment. i need those comments.

i heard

stand on your own feet.
that's another rule of life.
sebab even your loved ones will keep on hurting you.
and, memang resam manusia
memuji then menghina.
lambung tinggi-tinggi,
dan lepaskan, biar jatuh, orang keliling akan tengok je.

i heard it right.
safe your ass.
tak payah sibukkan orang lain.
and i've thought, it's true.

and girls, check this out;
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/8-dating-mistakes-even-smart-women-make-1286935/

time to recharge

time to find new friends.
time to get new hobby.
time to generate wealth.
hmm...

i'll see you in heaven.
living life as it is.
things happens.
life changes.
imperfection builds maturity.

semakin

semakin cuba untuk memahami, semakin kita takkan faham.
semakin kita cuba bersatu, semakin akan terpisah jauh.
itu realiti kehidupan.

a need to

a need to fall in love.
weh. i've never been deeply in love with a person who i love. ehehe
(ni penyakit lepas tengok korean drama cintan cintun. layan~)

thanks a million

zillion thank you to my dearlings who had made my birthday a memorable one.
thank you for the lunch at fullhouse, sunway pyramid
thank you for the dinner at bumbubali, puchong
thank you for making my day meaningful by sleeping over at my place
and when i woke up in the morning,
they were there to spend another meaningful day.
thank you for the karaoke, which made everyone present sing,
wannie, mira and ash >> wannie and mira selalu tanak nyanyi.
thank you for the evening @ hot air ballon fiesta, putrajaya.
wannie for the dinner at McD, sunway.
i love you girls!!!

and i learnt,
celebrating my birthday with the girls,
and without outsiders,
were much more interesting and fun.
:)
thank you so much.
and...
i am sorry if i can't do the same thing for all of you on your birthday.
how much i appreciate the celebration they made up for me.
thank you, thank you so much!!!

rule no. 2

jangan terlalu cinta/suka/gembira. sebab nanti akan menangis sebab merana.

* i need to get 100 rules..if possible.. :) hehe

rule of life.

rule no 1.
- never sign up apa-apa program yang memerlukan komitment. because we wont be able to commit. percayalah!

a need

a need tau.
bukan wanting.

i am stressed.
therefore,
i need a scandal.
siapa sukarela?!

* perhatian : sesiapa yang dah applied, application tak akan dilayan. sekian terima kasih.

hm.what else...

like seriosly..nothing can be done.
i am bored.
bored of what i am going through.

and nothing can change that.
and i've learn't something.

hey,
if you ever wanted to be friend to someone because
you really adore them or admire them,
trust me,
one day, you'll get to be friend with them.
but,
one thing for sure
you have to reserve a heartbroken, for yourself.
because they will leave you one day,
for a person they wanted to be friend with.
and you'll left
alone, as always.

and i regret for not having many friends.
i do.

is it better to have few true friends or a bunch of just friends?
but if you have few,
they are just the few.
if you have bunch,
there's always people around you.
so, which one?

hm

i just got to know;

even if you have many friends; ie trillion friends,
you will always be lonely.

yes. i think that is true.

i found out..

jarang nak jumpa kawan yang akan ada bersama kalau kita bersedih.
kesimpulannya...
kawan cuma akan ada bila kita bergembira.
because,
what i realised,
trough the time i was really down,
i was really sad,
the only people had been around me,
are the people who doesn't know i am in sorrow and darkness.
and if the people who knows my pain,
they will let me be alone.
or people who will be with me,
are the people who will ask me some favor,
for their benefits.
be it they are happy or had made me happy.
but at least those people cheer me up somehow.
the only people who will be with us when we really need accompany
are
the people who loves us.
only.
if they are friends, and no love in the friendship,
they will treat us like nobody.
other than that,
nobody cares.

am i right or wrong?
and which do i fall in?

just a thought.

i was always told to be a good girl.
always.
i was told to study hard.
be a smart girl, and that will ensure my bright future.

tapi..
as time goes on...
i can see..
that my friends who are worse than me,
who scored lesser than mine,
are experiencing a better life than mine.

how do we relate this actually?
even i scored less than the genius in school,
is now having a better life than them.
that one i am thankful of.
and i am blessed with what i am getting now.
and praying for a better ones as days goes on.

tapi..
i just don't understand.
why did parents asked their children to study so hard?
and the kids has got no life during their childhood because they are working hard
to fulfill their parents' wish.
can't they just let their kid live a normal life?

i always wanted to know
how this things work?

and i am certain
that people who drops out in school
can survive better wherever they go.
that's for sure.
because they always ended up to be a better person.
correct me if i am wrong.

wishlist.

taktau la ni wishlist yang keberapa.
with a dslr;

1. nak tour europe
2. nak japan tour
3. percutian pantai
4. mendaki gunung
5. diving
6. horseride tepi pantai

tapi...belum ada yang sukarela nak ikut. :(
sape nak ikut?

cuma

sentiasa perlu puaskan hati sendiri.
itu sahaja.

cuma nak kehidupan..
apabila malam..
setiap malam, boleh tengok bintang diatas bukit bersama pasangan hidup.

bila siang, pergi kerja,
boleh keluar rumah selewat 10 pagi
dan balik semula rumah sebelum 5 petang.

cuma itu sahaja kehidupan yang saya mahu.
cuma itu.

bosan & penat.

kenapa ada lelaki yang suka bercakap membanggakan diri sendiri?
suka bagitau yang dia hero?
kenapa?
apa yang perlu dibanggakan sangat?
kalau kau hero, tentulah orang lain akan sebarkan yang kau hero.
tak perlu kau sendiri yang buat!
sebab tu bukan ciri-ciri hero langsung!
huh.

and wahai perempuan sekalian.
kalau andaikata korang ni isteri-isteri orang
atau yang bakal jadi isteri,
tolong la. tolong jaga laki kau.
jangan esok lusa nak tuduh orang jadi perampas.
sebab sebenarnya, kau sendiri yang tak pandai jaga laki.
yang sebenarnya kau rasa dah cukup,
ketahuilah sebenarnya tu semua tak cukup.

oh Lord, i need you courage to say it out loud.
i really need that.

going crazy

2010 will be a year full of achievements! i promise that.

1. no more offdays staying at home macam si badak air berendam
2. gotta do something memorable and somethings to be proud of.
*even spending whole day in sewing class pun takpe. at least i've done something.
and.spending time chatting all day made me an unthinkable person. so, stop that one.

>>2010 resolution. stop procrastinating. :)

weh. my 2009 ended up me being a loser! dammit.
i hafta change that!

random

don't make promise when you are in joy.
don't reply when you are sad.
don't take decision when you are angry.

make sense kan?

we make them cry who care for us.
we cry for those who never care for us.
and we care for those who will never cry for us.

strange but true..

choose one.

some people live for fantasy
some people live for dream job
some people live for money
some people dream for ambition
some people live for the sake of living

so, choose one, what do you live for?

sometimes..
we can dream..
dream to have
great cars, big house, good cash..
never wanting to think of anything,
just live life happily.

but is never a dream come true.
and sometimes i don't know.
what do i live for..
money?
dream job?
ambition?
love?

what?!
pokoknya, i have nothing in mind that stood me still.
it keep changes.
and what i know,
i never want to live like how i am right now.
i want whats in my fantasy.
but its just a fantasy kan? hurm..

a job? dah ada
money? never enough
fantasies? selalu buat, and never come true
lover? i don't know if its true
friends? come and go
dreams? a lot. and people say its not realistic

so, what now?
what do you live for?

happy new year!!!

lets start this year with great things on earth.

resolution:

1. 55 kg.
2. think more about myself, and not others.
3. meet all of my friends including primary, secondary.
4. start something that will benefit myself eg: sewing, riding, diving, studies..
5. get a place called home
6. makesure my room is always tidy
7. eat good + healthy foods only
8. stop procrastinating
9. be more disciplined
10. plan better for future..